Sunday, October 31, 2010
I have felt pretty down lately I'll be honest. When I'm not doing much of anything else I end up thinking about things way too much, which is a big part of the problem. I always feel like I'm second best. I always feel that I'm not getting to where I want to be. I feel like I am just not cutting it. I feel like I get so close to being the kind of person I really want to be but I never really quite get there. There are so many things I want to do. There is so much that I want to be good at. There are a lot of character traits I want to have. I started to learn guitar but get frustrated when I'm not as good as I want to be as soon as I want to be. I want to get to bed earlier but always get distracted and stay up way too late. I want to not care about things so much and be less hard on myself but I care about things way too much. I want to stop gossiping, but I always do. I want to be better at my job but then I end up not giving things the attention it needs. I want to take better care of myself and just get lazy. I'm sick of being regretful of the things I should have done but didn't. I want to be happier and feel more achievement in the way I choose to live my day. I want to eliminate the "buts" out of my life. Tomorrow I'm going to take the day however it comes and make the most of it.