Its official

 I officially don't understand life. Moms and parents aren't supposed to get sick. There is a song Lady Antebellum sings about time being a thief I would rob. I get that now. I've never cared much about money, the car I drive, being better then the next person. I try to live my life and not hurt many along the way ( even though I make mistakes, lots of them) I don't want those things. I want a mom that is healthy and happy. I think sometimes we take our health for granted. It's not something you worry about until it is out of sync. We don't give enough credit for the good in our lives when it's good.
  I saw my mom hurt with her divorce I saw her struggle with my brothers and their downfalls I saw her remain strong through it all. I saw her be happy when she had every right to be upset. She hasn't asked for more then she needs. Now that the majority of that storm has passed and she made it through, it isn't fair that she has to be sick. She deserves time. Time to live to be healthy and happy. It just isn't fair. I hate this. I hate waking up to my mom having to talk to me to tell me it's worse. I want to make it better but I just can't. She scheduled a surgery that we still don't know will make things any better. She isn't really even healthy enough for the surgery but it's kind of all that can be done to try and help her. I am so scared. I'm going to be such a mess this coming month. All I want is time. So, I guess my biggest wish for the new year and 2012 is time.